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| :: Humor: Religious Light-Bulb Jokes |
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Religious Light-Bulb Jokes
How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists
do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and
pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.
How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Change???
How many neo-orthodox does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.
How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not
the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence
of the light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from
alienating those who might use other forms of light.
How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one--his/her hands are already in the air!
How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
How many members of an established Bible teaching church that
is over 20 years old does it take to change a light bulb?
One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in
favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own
journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your
personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark
resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday
service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and
tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."
Mormons?
Five. One man to change the light bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Amish?
What's a light bulb?
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